ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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