Im at strip club and am horny
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
