Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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