I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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