please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
