I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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