he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
