stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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