what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
