Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
