I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize