Just cropdusted the office
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
