i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
