it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
