normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She told me I should be a condom model.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
