I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
