I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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