last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
