my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
