I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
