why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
