The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
