fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
