I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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