I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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