if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
