The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I will pee on everything he values.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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