Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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