Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Operation Purity has been aborted
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
