Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
