i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize