I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
