its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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