is your mom at the bar?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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