So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
