I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
