Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
