God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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