I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
