so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize