Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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