I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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