Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
