I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
