I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
