Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
