thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize