fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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