i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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