I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
