Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
