I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
