another moral hangover. fuck.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
