I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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